Indian Platter – Gandi Baat (The Bullshit Talk)


No Brainer that the song Gandi Baat has had a huge influence on my mind. So much so, that all I can see in the incidents of the week is Gandi Baat. On hearing such songs, firstly, I curse the falling standard of bollywood music, then after hearing a few times (Isn’t that unavoidable) I start to hum them and then before I realise I start liking them. Yes, I like that song now. The little villain inside me eventually came to the fore. But something made me realise that I am not the only one with the villainous attributes.

For that, my maiden thanks to Karan Johar, the fantasy showman.  Neither am I discussing here the virginity of Salman Khan nor the sexual orientation of Karan Johar, as my good old cultural values prevent me to do so.  But how pleased I am to see that others too enjoy the Gandi Baat done in the KJo’s bullshit Show. In fact since most of us enjoy such talk I can safely disregard it as a Gandi Baat. And since most of us are indulging, though hesitantly, in such talks I can also disqualify myself as a villain. After all, are not ugly and villainous relative and not absolute terms? I read somewhere ‘Sarcasm is like electricity, half the world does not get it ‘.

And for a change Mr. Modi’s comment of the week had no sarcasm in it. If not anything, his demand for debate on article 370 has at least helped us to acknowledge the fact that there exists an arrangement which guarantees state of J&K a special status.  The article had an objective. Usual but the Gandi Baat is that, this temporary arrangement is still in place as the objective has never been met. Yes, geographically Kashmir is a part of India (In fact even here CIA’s and BBC’s map of India differs from the map we learnt in our schoolbooks. Check links at the end of this article) but culturally the integration with the rest of the India is still desired. And so, the call for the debate over the issue shall to certain extent help us understand the Kashmir equation.

What we presumably understand though is the game of cricket. Did not I say last week that cricket pundits are too optimistic about India’s chances in SA and that Pakistan won there because of its bowling.  By the way have you noticed how many of my predictions have turned right? I think I am faring well on that count!!  And faring well too is the super cool Indian captain MS Dhoni on the popularity charts as he wins ICC People’s choice award. Another prediction, by the time Dhoni retires he would be the second biggest personality in the Indian Cricket graph. All Sunny and Kapil fans may call it a bullshit talk. But I dare to put my neck on the block.

At least like millions of those stupid internet users I have not kept my account passwords on the block.  The recent hacking of 2 million accounts (FB, Gmail and other popular accounts) suggests that when it comes to keeping password ‘People are using very dumb passwords And They are totally useless’. Hilarious it sounds but as many as 16,000 users whose accounts were hacked had ‘123456’ as a password. The next three chartbuster passwords to be hacked were ‘password’, ‘admin’ & ‘123’. Whom to blame for this Gandi Baat -The Useless Users or The Smart Hackers?

No wonder that the impact of this hacking was not felt in India. We Indians are so secretive about our affairs that we take utmost care to make our passwords as complex and versatile as possible. So much so, that we often forget it (Déjà Vu, right??).

There is another Déjà Vu which all of us have had.  Taste of adulterated milk.  Adulteration is so rife that it no longer seems a Gandi Baat. But our esteemed SC still regards it as one and hence directed all the states to incorporate stringent law to deal with production and sale of milk. In fact SC has also directed all the states to frame laws pertaining to sale of acids as a preventive measure for the acid attacks.  Heinous, grotesque and the monstrous act of the worst kind is the acid attack on an individual. Even Gandi Baat fails to qualify as a description to this act.


Enough of Gandi Baat, now let us talk about Gandhi Baat.  We know Nelson Mandela or Madiba as he was popularly known as, as an ardent Gandhian, the Bharat Ratna, an influential humanitarian, a symbol of magnanimity and justice.  But did you know that US has named Mandela as a terrorist? (In fact he was in the US Terrorism Watch List till 2008, because US perceived him as a communist). This is the time to know more about the great man. Pay the legend a befitting homage as the thousands Fast and Furious fans have done to their beloved undercover cop Paul Walker by driving past the accidental site in their cars.


The state of Gandhi, Gujrat, reminds me of Narendra Modi. Will I write in future that country India reminds me of Narendra Modi!! Well, going by the election results of the four states there seems a very strong possibility of that.  What has worked Modi as a magician or Rahul as a bromide? Difficult to answer, but certain is the fact that citizens want someone who can do the Seedhi Baat and they have found one in the form of Arvind Kejriwal. What a rise it has been for Kejriwal!! Personally, I do believe that he should remain in opposition for this tenure because if he supports either of the two parties he will fail the very purpose for which people have chosen him.  He has definitely arrived and his time will arrive too.




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